Dungeons and Dragons, but your character must be a self insert, and class is determined by your current abilities
Barbarian Must have a demonstrable temper, go off I guess
Bard Must be able to play an instrument
Cleric Must be involved in a religious organization
Druid Must have demonstrable knowledge of, or passion for nature
Fighter Must beat the DM in physical combat (hope your DM’s a wimp)
Monk Must practice a martial art
Paladin Must have a cause that one actively supports
Ranger Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately
Rogue Must sneak up on the DM (Hard mode: steal their dice)
Sorcerer Must have a powerful family heirloom
Warlock Must work for a powerful entity (Corporations, The Government)
Wizard Must have a College Degree or a 3.0 GPA
If you can’t be any of these you start as a commoner, and may become one of these classes when you finally satisfy these conditions.
Y’all. Y’all. D n D is Bullshit.
So my friends and I are playing. We come across a couple fuckton strong knights. My Friend says , I shit you not l,“I WANNA KISS HIM.” So our GM say, gimme a persuasion check. This BOI ROLLS A 24. Then our GM asks, what kind of kiss. Boi say, French kiss. GM says gimme a DEX check.
BOI ROLLS A FUCKING ONE (1) AND THE KNIGHT IS SO OFFENDED BY HIS TECHNIQUE, HE TRIES TO KILL US.
when u cast tasha’s hideous laughter on someone u show them an episode of rick and morty which is why a creature with an intelligence stat of 4 or lower isn’t affected
Can we fight the demogorgan?
So now that all my co-workers have seen stranger things
They all come to me and be like
Hey we should fight the demogorgan
And I say no
I’ve fought him before
And by that I mean I watched as he destroyed my poor fishman’s village and people as our party barely escaped with our brains and boat intact. My fish man has vowed to destroy the demogorgan. Who destroyed my poor fishman’s house with one tentacle.
So no Kurt, you guys will not be fighting the demogorgan
Just me and my fishman.
He was small standing about 4ft and wore all green, well mostly green but with red highlights in what looked like a dirty commercial holiday elf outfit with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. His face was fill of beard and he had hair covering up the back of his neck as if he was hiding something back there. His thick leather belt was lined with sharp weaponry but attached through a self made hole with some string looked like 3 cut, uncooked sausages with finger nails. When he talked it was a low graspy sound that surprised all of us, gripping us into what he had to say. He told us that he could help us, for a price.
I made a concept character for dnd, a halfling rough that was once a prisoner of the santa Claus work slave trade. #2619 “jingles”.
Long time dm here: rule of thumb for crab encounters is 10 crabs times the average level of the characters in the party
My players almost died to 9 crabs, you really think they could deal with 40?
My fiancé just said I’m faster than a unicorn and I️ think that’s the most beautiful compliment I’ve ever received.