D&D Experiences & the Signs
*I know it’s nerdy so use Mercury (or Mars)
* Also, all of these are synopsises of the real story
Aries: A party member went up to the guard, and failed a yes/no riddle. The second party member responds “no.” The guard doesn’t move, so the newbie stabs a guard, near the city gate (full of guards) and almost gets killed because “I WANT INTO THE BAR!!!!!”
Taurus: After completing a quest, 2 of 3 party memebers got into a fight outside of the Quest givers home. While the two battled, the other player told the woman they died and he got not only all their gold, but “extra compensation”. He later used it to get enchanted items from them.
Gemini: One player had two different characters, an Orc and Elf. They all got tired of the Orc, but he had cool ass weapons. They killed him, chopped his body up, and went to sell him in a nearby town. (Which “happened” to have a canniable problem).
Cancer: One of my party’s rouges kept to himself a lot, to the point that he saw Aries’s happen, and just went back to the Tavern and drank himself half to death.
Leo: I had a couple playing with us, and had to DM the two having sex. It was really, really awkward. The barkeep mentioned it the next morning.
Virgo: I was playing a lesbian Ranger, and a guy came up to me and slapped my ass. I went to decline, but his roll was a 16. I immediately turn around and go “Wow, I love it when my girls are so strong.” and he whips out his dick. I call my dog, and he chomps it off. Did I mention this was 5 minutes into a game?
Libra: This isn’t a story, but I have one Lawful player in a party of Chaotics. You’re the Lawful player of your friend group.
Scorpio: I had a friend who INSISTED he be a Werewolf, right off the bat. After his first transformation, the Party gets him to calm down and he returns to normal. I (DM) make sure to mention he is COMPLETELY naked. The entire party screams “ROLL FOR HIS DICK, ROLL FOR HIS DICK!” So I roll a d12. Shit lands on 12, and the party roars. He asks for a Charisma bonus. After that, whenever his penis was visible he got +2 CHA with all who liked dick and +2 Intimidation for men who didn’t.
Sagittarius: In a town square, a single bard stood on a stool in a circle. Everyone was in a trance, singing “99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, TAKE ONE DOWN PASS IT AROUND…” well, a party member (novice) jumps right into it and starts singing, tankard in hand. She gets stuck and her girlfriend had to save her (and considered not doing it).
Capricorn: I played as a Chaotic Evil with a Charisma of 20, so she naturally did Chaotic Good actions to cover herself. Everytime someone would step out of line or jeopardize my plans, I’d just look at them and go “Listen to me,” and roll. That’s you, deadass all the time.
Aquarius: After stealing a boat, the party drunkingly arrived to the town of Mikilt, full of Bards. They all kept on chanting “MAH KILT, MAH KILT, MAH MOTHERFUCKING KILT!!” and the entire town joined in.
Pisces: One time a player was sleeping in the back of a caravan for the entirity of a battle, only to wake up a turn after.