Author: Dungeons And Dragons

King of Liquids

yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: My friend was playing an otterfolk bard in a heavily homebrewed campaign, and his character had a bottomless bag. He was a bit of a hoarder that used the bag to put random stuff in, and if they party put anything in it, they likely would never see it again.

The party visited an oasis of healing water, and told [Bard] to put some in his bag. So he collects roughly 38 gallons of healing water.

Later the party visited a city, where they were stopped at the gate by the guards. The bard had adopted an persona of a merchant who sounded like Richard Nixon with half of his face paralyzed.

Guard: What’s in the bag?

Bard: I’m a merchant, and these are my wares.

Guard: Listen, I need to see what’s in your bag; it’s about as big as you are and could be holding some suspicious items.

Party: No! Don’t do that! Isn’t that against the rules or something?

Guard: I have the authority to look through this bag for suspicious items.

He then proceeds to upend the bag, dumping out the 38 gallons of water that the Bard had collected, a look of “What the fuck?” On his face. He looked to the bard, who says:

Bard: I’m a purveyor of liquids.

The DM had to pause the the game due to tears steaming down their face.

serpentandstang: Various WandsMal Corvus Witch…

serpentandstang:

Various Wands
Mal Corvus Witchcraft & Folklore artefact collection
West Country, England (Cornwall)

bikiniarmorbattledamage: dhavaer: @asynca, I…

bikiniarmorbattledamage:

dhavaer:

@asynca, I thought you might like this badass elderly pirate lady, Admiral Beckett Brass.

Artist is Jason Rainville.

This pirate is actually the artist’s mom, based on that tweet, which is awesome. I love that she has a rope grappling hook contraption that I assume she uses to swing over to enemy boats. The colors are great, and while her clothes aren’t fancy, they still project a grandiosity, like the Admiral is larger than life. There are a lot of good small details that show the Admiral’s booty-plundering history.

This is a Magic: the Gathering card illustration, and the artist has done a lot of those, so check them out here

We always love seeing badass moms and grandmothers.

-Icy

dinnikeato: lozzlogan: starship-one: forbidd…

dinnikeato:

lozzlogan:

starship-one:

forbidden snacks

Edible versions.

Sherbet Bon Bons – Mielcitas – Rock Candy – Edible Dice [from here]

re-reblogging for edible versions thank you sm

we-are-rogue: Love and War by Qissus

we-are-rogue:

Love and War by Qissus

xtoxictears: overheal: asylum-art-2: Skeleto…

xtoxictears:

overheal:

asylum-art-2:

Skeleton Coffee Table by Skelemental 

This is Full Throttle, a rather unusual skeleton coffee table, and Skelemental’s first
piece of furniture. Full size skeleton busts, one being strangled by
the other. Bronze skeletons on a brushed steel base. Limited edition of
just three sculptures. via:skullappreciationsociety

“dave shut the fuck up just hold it”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

I so badly want this table.

Flame Gerblins? SOLD!

dndeed:

Flame Gerblins? SOLD!

Regular

tinsnip:

ladyyatexel:

My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on Tuesday that I’d be down and out for about two weeks. 

My brother: TWO WEEKS? Holy shit.

Surgeon: Well, consider this.  She and I just had a knife fight.  And I won.  Because she was asleep during it.  

My brother: Oh.  Yeah, okay, that’s fair.

Your surgeon sounds fucking hysterical.

scifi-fantasy-horror:Royal Guard by  Kyoung H…

scifi-fantasy-horror:

Royal Guard by 

Kyoung Hwan Kim

gburanddragons:

gburanddragons:

*Cleric fails Divine Intervention roll*