(We’re good friends with the local magical item merchant, and are checking out his new stock)

Bard: “What does this horn do?”

Merchant: “You blow into it, and it creates and explosive force!”

Bard: “So would you say this horn is a blast?”

Merchant, deadpan: “Give me your hand.”

Bard, expecting to get smacked: “…Okay.”

Merchant, grasping the Bard’s hand with tears in his eyes: “I cherish you so much, and I will love you forever.”